Last night my wife and I watched the last 30 minutes of the Academy Awards. It is always fun to see who wins the big awards: Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, and Picture of The Year.

The thing that impressed me was the way that they recognized the nominees for Best Actor and Actress.
Each of the nominees were introduced by a friend and colleague who knew them personally and had worked with them before. The personal relationship allowed them to share funny stories, genuine compliments and heartfelt congratulations to each of the nominees.

It was moving!

Whenever you are part of recognition with a team, family, organization, or business – take a lesson from the Oscars. Make it personal. Make it heartfelt. Make it real.

What a difference this makes on the impact of the recognition – not only for the individual being recognized but for all who are participating.

What a great lesson from the Oscars!

Yesterday I went to a networking event for lunch. There were about 80 people there and we were assigned to tables with 8 at each table. The conversation was good, but superficial throughout the lunch. The typical question was directed at the name of the company on the name tag. “Tell me about XYZ company?” or “What do you do at XYZ?”

Then the event director introduced an activity. We went around the table and each of us had two minutes to answer a personal question and then 2 minutes to talk about what we do professionally.

The personal question was either “What is a mistake you have made in the past?” or “What has been a memorable sporting event for you?”

I don’t think it mattered what the personal questions were but the interesting thing that happened was when people began to open up and talk about personal things, the mood, conversation and connection at the table changed. People were laughing and interacting more naturally. They were interested and engaged. It was no longer superficial, it was genuine.

When we can talk to people personally and not just professionally – we connect. When we open up personally – others can relate. When we are vulnerable and real we allow others to be the same and we bond.

Just some food for thought at your next networking event

Here is a quick thought on networking and relationship building. Hope you enjoy!

I want to invite you to join me for Relationship Week. All of next week
(the week leading up to Valentines Day) is relationship week and I am
celebrating with all of you by understanding how relationships are the
root of all business.

I will be interviewing a relationship expert live everyday next week and you
can listen in for free. These experts are bestselling authors like Bob Burg, CEO’s
like Dave Blanchard and social media gurus like David Riklan.

You won’t want to miss these calls. So make sure you take a minute and register
at http://www.relationshipweek.com – then I will give you the times and number for
each of the calls next week.

I look forward to learning with you and making next week a week to remember.

Go to http://www.relationshipweek.com and register – it only takes a few seconds.

I have a good friend who passed away a little more than a year ago. Richard Ellis was a successful entrepreneur, father and friend. He touched thousands of people’s lives with his wisdom, understanding and caring. Just before he passed, he shared 19 Life Lessons with some of the people he loved and I wanted to share them with you because I think there is great wisdom in each of these.

1. You won’t always succeed, but never give up believing in yourself.
2. Look for the success lesson of any failure. There is a hint there.
3. Be inspired by your mentors and leaders, but never controlled.
4. Personal growth will always precede relationship and business growth.
5. Believe and trust in other people until they have absolutely proven that they don’t deserve it.
6. Believe anyone you meet can accomplish anything, unless they prove to you they don’t want to.
7. Associate with positive people, and make no exception in allowing negative people into your life. This even includes family and best friends!
8. Listen to actions, not words.
9. Be honest, and gentle, even when it’s hard.
10 Never compromise your honesty, integrity or trust…people are watching and following you.
11. Give yourself unconditionally to deserving people without expecting of something in return.
12 Never do anything that compromises your integrity or long term goals for short term gains. (This is a hard one)
13 Always treat people better than you want to be treated.
14 Remember there is more than one perspective on everything in life. Allow others to see things differently than yourself.
15 Expect to be surprised.
16 Discipline your disappointments. Limit disappointing feelings to seconds, not days.
17 Learn how to take advantage of all the “Natural Laws in Life” as they cannot be changed by you. You don’t get a vote.
18 Practice the principle of the “Slight Edge” as it literally controls the outcome and quality of our life. It also sets into motions all natural laws in the universe.
19 Remember, you have complete control over your own reactions. When something happens, take that one second pause and realize you have complete control. You make the decision of how you will choose to react. You do not have to be governed by the past poorly formed habits anymore. You choose, you decide, you take responsibility. You control the direction the slight edge will take.

As New Years fast approaches I’m sure everyone has given thought to their New Years Resolutions. What do you want to be, do and have in 2010? I believe that New Years Resolutions don’t work unless you set True Goals – goals that have everything you need to be able to achieve them. I wanted to share a quick outline on how to make a True Goal with the hope that your New Years Resolutions this year will result in making 2010 the best year of your life.

Here goes -
A True Goal needs three things:

Vision, Mission, and Strategy

Vision Provides a Picture – answering What?
Mission Provides Purpose – answering Why?
Strategy Provides a Plan – answering How?

A true goal requires that you identify what you want, feel a deep sense of why you want it and then develop a plan as to how you will achieve it.

To develop your strategy – there are four simple questions to ask. They are:

Who has done it?
How did they do it?
What are the obstacles?
What are the solutions?

When you set a goal with vision, mission and strategy – you dramatically increase your odds of achieving it.

If you want more info – you can click on the link below to download a free ebook I wrote called Goal Achievement. It will teach you this process in greater depth.

http://leadershipinc.com/subscribe-to-blog-newsletter

Here’s to 2010 being the best year ever!

1 – First Important Lesson – Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:
“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50’s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

“Absolutely, ” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say “hello.”
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. – Second Important Lesson – Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African Americanwoman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally
uheard of in those conflict-filled 1960’s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.
It read:
“Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others.”
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 – Third Important Lesson – Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. ” Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins.
“I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 – Fourth Important Lesson. – The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 – Fifth Important Lesson – Giving When it Counts…

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away”.

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

“Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody’s watching.”

I love the holiday season for many reasons. I love the food, the family, and friends. The decorations, the presents, and the lights. But most of all, I love the attitude of service that comes over people as we begin to look beyond ourselves to help those around us. With the risk of being too personal, I wanted to share our family motto.

“Serve God, Serve Each Other, Serve Others”

We have it on the wall in our kitchen – just below our family purpose statement. This motto has become the focus of our family over the last year and to reinforce it we have a daily practice. Every night before we go to bed we come together as a family and each of us share one thing we did to help someone that day.
-You would love to hear some of the things our three year old shares

So what has this done for us? We have found that when we focus on serving others, our problems don’t seem so large. We have found that we are happier. We have found that we have a sense of contribution when we lay our heads down at night. We believe that “good deeds last forever.” And for Sarah and me, we feel that we are teaching our children what life is really all about.

During this Holiday Season I wanted to share this thought and a quick video that will remind us just how good it feels to do good.

Happy Holidays!

A true leader, in any business or organization, is the one who recognizes the impact they can have on others as well as the impact others can have on them. Then they learn to check their ego at the door in order to bring in the most talented people possible to make the biggest impact possible on the group, company, customers or community. The key to lasting, high impact leadership is to not be afraid to recruit up, to surround yourself with the best and always look up to those beneath you in the pecking order of life or business.

David Ogilvy, founder of the giant advertising agency, Ogilvy and Mather, used to give each new manager a Russian doll, which contained five progressively smaller dolls inside. A message inside the smallest one read: “If each of us hire people we consider smaller than ourselves, we shall become a company of dwarves. But if each of us hire people who are bigger than we are, we will become a company of giants.”

Do not be afraid to surround yourself with people who are a little better, or even a lot better, than you different areas of the business. It is not only a sign of maturity, but a sign of wisdom, to recognize the benefit which comes from such a dynamic in your business. Far too many strive to control the group by making themselves indispensable and the only one who can solve problems, make decisions or create new opportunities. While it may make them feel needed or important it will ultimately be a disservice to customers and kill the business.

Recruit up, attract better, employ the best of the best. Create a culture where there are no small parts or players – where everyone is encouraged and coached to become their very best. Then make an impact on their lives and lead them to impact others and achieve the extraordinary.

To become a giant in the eyes of others, and to succeed in the 21st century, surround yourself with the best and look up to those beneath you!

Thanks – John McLelland for sharing this thought!