Lead By Example

By tybennett | Published: May 10, 2012

Over the last couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to speak to several groups on leadership and influence. These groups ranged from teenagers to hospital recruiters to government employees and executives of a fortune 500 company. As we discussed leadership it was interesting to get their differing views on what makes a leader influential, but they all agreed that a leader must lead by example.

One of my favorite leadership stories is about Mahatma Gandhi and a young boy – Many years ago hundreds of people were lined up in the town square area for the opportunity to visit with Mahatma Gandhi. On this particular day a young mother and her son waited for hours to be able to visit with him, and when the opportunity arrived, the young mother asked Gandhi if he would speak with her son about his eating sugar in the hopes that his words would encourage the young boy to stop eating sugar. Gandhi looked intently at the woman and said, “Please come back in two weeks, and I will speak with the boy about his eating sugar.” As she and her son walked away from Gandhi so the next person could speak with him, she wondered why he didn’t just speak to the boy but also realized that Gandhi was a man whom she should obey, and so she obliged.

In two weeks they returned to the town square, and after waiting for a couple of hours once again, she was able to approach Gandhi. Upon her request, Gandhi immediately spoke with the boy, and the boy agreed to begin the journey of not eating sugar. The woman thanked Gandhi for his wisdom, compassion, and words and then asked him why he asked her to return two weeks later versus just speaking to him on their first visit. Gandhi replied profoundly, “Upon your visit two weeks ago, I too was eating sugar.” And he went on to explain that he could not speak of or teach the young boy to not eat sugar if he himself had not taken that journey.

As a leader it should be a regular activity to look in the mirror and make sure that we are leading by example.

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How To Facilitate Participation In Your Presentation

By tybennett | Published: April 24, 2012

I made a video to teach you a wonderful technique every presenter should use. It is called – Dialogue and Discuss

Enjoy!

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The True Definition of Success

By tybennett | Published: April 4, 2012

It is my daughter Andie’s sixth birthday today. Wow – time really does fly. As I was reflecting on her little life – I thought I would share a great lesson she taught me -The True Definition of Success.

To the world success means money, power, or fame. The dictionary even defines it as the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence. That is the way that I defined it for most of my life. To me, success always had a lot to do with the house I lived in, the car I drove and the clothes I wore. Then a few years ago, I began to understand a new definition of success.

On April 4th 2006 my daughter Andie was born. She was our first child and like all first-time parents the anticipation, anxiety, and excitement were all but unbearable. The whole day seemed rushed and hectic as we experienced so much that was unknown. But once Andie was born and we were back in our room, life calmed down, our world got very quiet, and we started to take in our beautiful baby.

As I sat and held Andie in our room, my wife Sarah fell asleep, and I was alone for the first time with my perfect little girl. I started to imagine her life, seeing all of the good she had in front of her as she grew and developed. I hoped and prayed for nothing but the best, but as I pictured her life my definition of success changed. I didn’t picture the car she would drive, the house she would live in, or the clothes she would wear. Instead, I thought about how happy she would be, the good she would do, and the person she would become. Looking at this little girl with her whole life ahead of her, I realized that success is not about external things. Money, power and fame are results; byproducts that come from who you are. The true definition of success is:
To Become the Person You Are Capable of Becoming.

The emphasis is on becoming, not on obtaining. Each of us has unlimited potential and it is the pursuit of that potential that is true success. My favorite quote says, “The greatest loss in life is the difference between human potential and actual performance.”

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Milk The Moment – Public Speaking Advice

By tybennett | Published: March 21, 2012

If you ever give presentations or speeches – I want you to pay close attention to this post.

One of the things that I am constantly telling speakers and presenters is to focus on connection rather than perfection.

When you focus on connection with your audience – the little imperfections are overlooked and your message is well received.

The problem with focusing on perfection is that it is all about you.
-I hope I remember the script
-I hope I don’t mess up
-I hope I don’t stutter or get tongue tied
etc….

Our focus should be on our audience. Trying to connect.

One of the biggest ways that speakers mess this up is that they are so focused on perfection that they never veer off script and show a human side. They often miss opportunities to “Milk The Moment”.

During presentations moments present themselves that can add humor or context to the speech. Maybe it is an interaction with the audience or when something funny happens during the speech. If you are focused on connection – you can take advantage of those moments and milk them for all they are worth, but if you are focused on connection, you will probably miss them.

To illustrate my point – I want you to watch this video of John Maxwell. This is during a presentation and John veers off script and milks a moment that makes a memorable connection with the audience.

ClICK HERE TO WATCH
Here is the youtube link – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_oLT0HYKtc

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Book Review – Doing What Must Be Done

By tybennett | Published: March 5, 2012

My friend Chad Hymas is one of the most inspirational people I know. In fact, The Wall Street Journal named Chad “One of the 10 most inspirational people in the world!”

This week Chad’s book – Doing What Must Be Done – is being released and I highly recommend it. I read it yesterday on an airplane and even though I already knew Chad’s story – I was enthralled by it.

Chad was rendered a quadriplegic in 2001 when a one ton bale of hay fell on top of him. With the support of his family Chad has since set a world record by wheeling his wheel chair over 500 miles and he travels the world as a speaker for companies, associations and schools.

If you enjoy reading true stories that are inspiring – then I highly recommend Chad’s book. It will make you cry, laugh, recommit to doing more, and help you recognize what is really important in life.

Check it out by CLICKING HERE

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Interview W/ NY Times Bestselling Author – Jeffrey Gitomer

By tybennett | Published: February 21, 2012

Here is a 20 minute interview with NY Times Bestselling Author Jeffrey Gitomer. In this interview we talk about Jeffrey’s book, The Little Green Book of Getting What You Want.

Jeffrey shares some great insights into persuasion, presenting, & writing.

To listen to the interview CLICK HERE

Enjoy!

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Don’t Give Up On Your Dream

By tybennett | Published: February 15, 2012

I love the sport of basketball and if you are a basketball fan like me you have probably been swept away by Linsanity!

For those of you going “Huh?” – let me explain.

Jeremy Lin who has now started 5 games for the New York Knicks has taken the basketball world by storm. His output has been amazing. The New York Knicks have won all five games. But Jeremy Lin’s story has inspired me and so many others to not give up on our dreams.

Jeremy Lin didn’t receive a single scholarship offer to play basketball in college. Instead he walked on to Harvard’s basketball team and played all four years without a scholarship. Ivy league schools don’t usually get a lot of attention and Lin wasn’t drafted into the NBA. He earned a spot on the Golden State Warriors squad for the 2011 season, but he didn’t play and they cut him on the first day of training camp this season. The Houston Rockets picked him up and let him play a few minutes in two preseason games and then cut him again.
The Knicks then picked him up to start the season but quickly sent him down to the D-League (developmental league) and he was only recalled because two other Knicks’ point guards were hurt.

He was given a chance to play coming off the bench against the New jersey Nets on Feb. 4th and scored 25 points. In the next four games he set an NBA record by scoring 109 points in his first four starts in the the league.

He has graced the cover of Sports Illustrated, hit a game winning 3 pointer against the Raptors and dropped 38 on Kobe and the Lakers. Everywhere he goes he is hearing cheers of MVP and people can’t decide which nickname they like more: Linderella or Linspiration.

Jeremy Lin can play basketball and he is proving that, but even more than that he is teaching everyone to not give up on their dream. He had every reason to give up on his, but he didn’t. He wasn’t recruited, wasn’t drafted, was cut several times, was sent down to the D-league, and yet he kept believing. He has gone from sleeping on his brother’s couch in New York City to living in Trump Tower in two weeks. He has gone from being an total unknown to increasing the sales and traffic to the Knicks online store by 3000%.

Linsanity is sweeping the nation not just because he can play basketball – but because he is teaching us all to believe.

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The Growth/Death Analogy

By tybennett | Published: February 7, 2012

Over the last few years, I have spoken to hundreds of thousands of people involved in every kind of business you can imagine.

I’ve spoken to retail businesses, fast food, insurance, health care, direct sales, government workers, lawyers, and the list goes on and on.

One of things that I have come away with is the Growth/Death Analogy.
When it comes to growth, business are just like people. A business is either growing or it’s dying. There really is no maintaining. With a business there is always attrition – so there has to be growth just to maintain status quo. So a business always has to be proactive, taking action, focusing on growth – or it starts to dwindle and move in the wrong direction.

The same is true with people. All of us are either growing or dying. We are either learning and developing or we are letting good habits slip away and become bad habits. There is no maintaining.
When we are trying to just get by and do the minimum – we are only fooling ourselves – we are shrinking and moving in the wrong direction.

There is an old Chinese proverb that says:
“Learning is like rowing upstream, to not advance is to drop back.”

Growth is the purpose of life. I believe that for each of us to live up to our potential and thrive we need to be proactive, taking action, learning and growing.

Otherwise, we don’t stay the same – we begin to die.

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Activity Without Accomplishment

By tybennett | Published: February 2, 2012

I love inspirational movies that are based on a true story. One of my favorites is a basketball movie called Glory Road. (I you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it).

There is a scene in the movie where the the coach (Don Haskins) is working with a player one on one and he says, “Do you expect me to react to all that head shake and body gyration? It is activity without accomplishment.”
He was teaching him an important lesson in basketball but I think it has universal implications.

How often are we guilty of activity without accomplishment?

Are we constantly busy or are we actually productive? There is a difference.

I heard this analogy the other day and loved it.

“None of us should be like the fisherman who thinks he has been fishing all day when in reality he has spent most of his time getting to and from the water, eating lunch and fussing with his equipment. Fishing success is related to how long you have your line in the water, not to how long you are away from your home. Some fisherman are away from home for twelve hours and have their line in the water for ten hours. Other fisherman are away from home for twelve hours and have their line in the water for only two hours. This last type may wonder why they do not have the same success as others, but the answer is clear.”

So as you analyze how you are spending your time make sure you are focusing on productivity and accomplishment.

What are the important, necessary things you can do today to move forward? If it is making calls, then don’t procrastinate – make your calls! If it is finishing a project – then get it done!

Don’t be guilty of activity without accomplishment.

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Service Leads To Influence

By tybennett | Published: January 25, 2012

One of the quickest ways to increase your leadership status is to become a service-oriented person. I know what you are thinking – “What does service have to do with leadership?” Well, it is actually proven that becoming a contributor increases your influence. Below I’ll explain using a quick excerpt from my book – The Power of Influence
A study at the University of Kent in southern England was dedicated to figuring out how givers are perceived. Researchers conducted an experiment called a “cooperation game” in which participants were each given a small amount of money and asked to contribute to a common fund.
Next, the researchers doubled the common fund and passed it out equally to members of the group. In this game, the best thing for everyone is to continually reinvest their money and keep doubling the fund. But if you’re crafty, rather than cooperate you’ll be tempted to hold back some of your money. That means that you get your own money, plus a chunk of everybody else’s. As the experiment showed, there are always those people who opt to do so.
Then the researchers conducted a second phase of the experiment in which the participants were separated into teams and asked to elect leaders. They found that 82% of the leaders who were elected were those who had given the most back during the first phase.
The study concluded that when people see someone giving, and especially when they see someone giving all that they have, they recognize a leadership quality in that person, even if it’s a complete stranger.
If people witness you as a giver, they will see you as a leader. Giving says you are seeking to serve, you are interested in placing other people’s interests ahead of your own, you are interested in investing in someone else’s world, not just your world. You are practicing the platinum rule.

Service. It is the great paradox of positive self-fulfillment: to get all that you want, give others all that they want.
As the English religious leader John Wesley advised, “Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.”
That counsel was given 300 years ago, but the wisdom is timeless.
Now, as then, serving others is the key that will make you happier, healthier – and a person of tremendous influence.

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